QUOTE (xKiss the Sky @ Nov 27 2007, 07:50 PM)

Yale University. The campus is beautiful, and I love the fact that it has so much history. It's also only one hour from where I live, so it's close to home. I probably have a 0.001% chance of getting in. It's a dream indeed *sigh*
ME TOO!
I love Yale and have loved it for years. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I hated Harvard ever since I was little. Do you know how frustrating and annoying it is when every person (even if you don't know them well but they might be your parent's friend or something) goes up to you and says one of the following:
Jane, you're going to Harvard, right?
Jane, haha you're so smart! Go to Harvard!
Jane, you'll get into Harvard someday.
Jane, you have to PROMISE ME TO GET INTO HARVARD!!!!!!!
It's rather irritating and by the sweet tender age of 5, I nursed a growing dislike for this thing called "Harvard". Then, I found out it was a university and I found out its...sort of...rival was Yale. So I was like, "I'll get into Yale and rub it in the faces of all those Harvard lovers!" What a stupid reason, but yes, that's the humble beginnings of my love for Yale.
And then I started researching it more and more, especially this year, and I'm really afraid now....since I'm in LOVE with it and really, I have the tiniest chance of getting in (like 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000001%). The campus is extraordinarily breathtaking, it has so much history, and it's close by (I live in NY so it's about 2 hours away). It's close enough that I get to see my family if I feel like it and there's none of that hectic airplane flight ticket booking omg where did my bag go + hours of waiting in the airport = stress thing, but it's far away enough that it would discourage my parents from trying to drive there every day or every weekend in which case, I will hide somewhere and I won't have to deal with the mounting stress I get from living at home. And 27359807128951857875158927897 other reasons. I'm really in love with everything and if I go there, I'll have so much school spirit which is weird since I barely have any right now. I'm not one of those peprallyRAHRAHGOOOOOTEAMMMM!! people.
But in reality, there's a 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% chance of me getting in especially since my grades are getting worse and I don't do sports ): (schedule doesn't really allow it + I suck at sports anyway and would get cut from every team lol...except track but like i said, schedule doesn't let me) There are 2509718751 people with perfect SAT scores and perfect GPA that are involved in sports and 7895715 clubs and volunteer and why not, save the world while they're at it. and some of these people kind of get rejected. so what makes me so special? if they can't get in, how can i?
why oh why can't i have the work ethic i used to have when i was in elementary?

i started slacking off since 5th grade after coming to the realization that i
DIDN'T HAVE TO STUDY and yet i got straight A's! and then i slacked off and was lazy on everything and freshman year killed me because of this and i started putting in a little more effort and in 10th grade, once again, after having this habit for about 5 years, it's not going away anytime soon and it's KILLING me...i don't know what to do ): also, i procrastinate too much.
*sigh* :/. sometimes, i wish i didn't dream big. sometimes, i wish my dreams were a tad bit more realistic and attainable. what am i going to do when i get that letter that says i'm rejected from yale? ):