So I turned twenty a few months ago, and all of a sudden I feel like life is my enemy. I am questioning everything I believe, and feel really lost in the world. I'm worried about the future, if I chose the right major, or if I am heading towards the right direction. I feel disconnected from my friends and even from myself. I don't know where I belong anymore.

Well that is the gist of what is inside my head, someone told me it is the age I am at, and throughout my twenties I will go through all these periods of transitioning to become my true self. I am not sure about that, but it seemed kind of valid.

So my question to all those twenty somethings out there, what are you doing at this age and is there any advice, stories, or whatever you want to tell those that are struggling. To those who survived, how is life now? Is it really just something that gets better after a decade?

I want to feel less lost and isolated from the world around me....*sighs*

Life is about the ups and downs. Without the downs we don't realize how important those times of ups give us. I would like to say that things get easy and understandable. But that would be a lie. Nothing comes easy, if it did it easily disappears. Questions aren't bad, gives us knowledge that we can at least still question the world around us. The direction you go should be morally just, in the middle ground. A sway here and there doesn't matter as long at you pick yourself up again and go the right way. because in this world being perfect doesn't exist and it shouldn't. We all search endlessly for answers, the path to reaching those answers is what matter. make the best of life. stuck in a rut? go out and see how everything else coexist around you and find a way out there.

From birth until nine years old, that's the age of play. Just be a kid and have fun. From ten until nineteen, that's the age of schooling. Educate yourself as much as you can and broaden your knowledge of the world. From twenty until twenty nine, that's the age of self discovery. Break out of your shell, experiment. Break away from routine, try things. Break away from your circle of friends, meet new people. Basically, learn to take control of your own life and learn to direct it in a way that will make you happy.

There will be mistakes along the way, but people learn by making mistakes so mistakes are your friend. You will meet bad people along the way but that's all part of the learning process. You will discover yourself in a rut sometimes but that's only telling yourself that whatever you are doing, it needs change. You will face adversities of unthinkable sizes and you will not always persevere but just understand that no matter the outcomes, you are better to have experienced it.

From thirty and beyond, thats the age of enjoyment. By now, you should be done experimenting. You should have discovered what you want in life. You should have discovered how not to screw up again. You should have discovered how to make yourself fulfilled. Then just enjoy life.

You're only 20. It's alright to feel lost and question everything that you believe. This is around the time where you start thinking more deeply about future goals and responsibilities. The days of the past can never be relived. It's kind of sad since I myself get a kick out of nostalgia. You just have to keep moving forward with whatever it is that you want to accomplish. When I was 20, I was too busy making music and making money that I never set my standards any higher. I really thought that was all I was ever going to do at the time, but I was wrong. From 21 to 23, I was very confused and lost with what to do. I wasted a lot of time taking pointless college classes too. Many times I was so stressed that I wanted to quit school altogether and just take a one-year vacation, which I eventually did. But, like they say, life is what you make it. Either you love it or you hate it. That's all up to you. My personal experiences tell me that I really can't look at things in a positive way. I've only experienced the bad and the ugly. With that, a lot of my old passions gradually died, while I discovered a partly-new one in writing, but it will never benefit me in terms of income. I just feel like for all my efforts, I'm rewarded with bs after more bs. I'm 24 now and I still don't know what to do with my life as far as long-term is concerned. I mean, I've accomplished everything that I've ever wanted, so I don't know where to go from here. Nothing else particularly interests me either. I wish I was lying about that, but it's the truth. Feeling isolated from the world has become an everyday norm for me. I'm such a social alien haha. My motivation level has hit rock bottom. I feel like I'm existing only because I'm breathing. That's just me though. That doesn't mean it has to be you. You're in control of where you want to go. You'll make mistakes, but just don't lose complete control early on and you should be fine, unlike me. Damn my moodiness!

I think most of my friends (myself included) were also in that confused, lost, weird stage as soon as we turned 20..I guess because we are no longer teenagers we felt like we had to do something more with our lives but it was so hard since at 20, most of us were still in the beginning or middle of college..a time where cramming and partying were our daily activities, not sitting there and pondering what to do with the rest of our lives but since our ages now started with a "2" we felt like we HAD to get our butts off the chair and DO something...but 20 is still young, I discovered (I'm 22 now, still young, too) and I think at that age, it's good to have a main goal and a plan B and start working on it, but no need to think the world is coming to an end because you haven't gotten all figured out yet. Also if you aren't already, start feeling comfortable in your own skin...up until recently, I felt like my life was just an extenion of my high school years..but after awhile, you begin to realize, everyone else is so absorbed in their own lives and thoughts that maybe they're just as confused and feeling isolated. I can't describe it but when you come to the realization that you and the ones that have always been there for you are your top priorities in life, everything slowly falls into place and you start to learn your place in life as well as where everything else stands (money, career, education, friends, family, relationships, and of course YOU). And when I mean start, I really do mean start..everytime you think you've got it all figured out, you find out that you still have a long way to go, and that's OK..if you have it all figured out in your 20's then you're gonna have a pretty dull life afterwards.

hmm where to start. i'd suggest pick a goal and work towards it. my life up to 19 has not been that great in terms of family, friends, relationships. I decided i wanted to start fresh and get away from it all for a little bit so i moved out at 19. left for another province to make it on my own, prove to those that doubted me that i will not fail, succeed past their expectation was my goal. i just turned 20 in sept 07 and i'm loving my life every minute to the second. meeting new people, getting hired into a respectable company, paying for everything by myself and just enjoying life. what more can you ask for? just try to make the best of things and ask for help when needed. that's how i feel as of right now, being young and dumb at 20.

Such is life.

If you feel that your life has changed for the worse, why not make the effort to enjoy lilfe how you did during that time you were happy about everything?

26, working full time as a software engineer, got a couple of lucky rolls and am currently enjoying a comfortable life. i'm not rolling in dough or anything, but i have friends, i'm dating, some extra cash in the account, i'm on better terms with my folks and though there isn't a lack of drama, even that i'm somewhat handling better than i used to.

there's probably a perfect answer for you to solve everything in your life right now, but no one to really show you how find it out. that shouldn't matter, however, because we're all where we are because we've experienced and learned and slowly figured out how to pave our own path in this life.

there's no guarantee in this life except for your effort and motivation to keep pushing down the path of your choice. sometimes you'll find yourself a nice little navigator along the way, or some sturdy people in your life to get through the storms, but these come and go. while you have help, learn from them. while you're alone scrambling and not knowing what to do next, think a little bit and try something to get you moving forward. it wont work all the time, but at least you'll have a better idea when the next storm comes.

in other words... just figure it out as you go. it's ok not to know everything. quite frankly, no one knows everything, or even half of everything. sometimes we drift, other times we ride the current, but eventually, we'll all learn to set sail and somewhat control our next destination. you'll eventually get there... so just go with what you have for now and believe you'll be fine. cuz i'm sure you will...

Thanks for sharing everyone, I am sure I am not the only one who is benefiting from your advice.!!!!

I'm 22 now and I'm still confused. I do feel isolated. Party is not in my concern anymore. I begin to think more about life, about my future and others. I'm worried that I won't find a good paying job after I graduate. I'm currently studying accounting and finance. I start to think more about my family, my mom and dad. I wonder how many time in life I'm going to see them since I've studied abroad. Don't know if I'm ever going to pay them back for all they have done for me.

During the year of 16-22, I'd been through so many up and down time. I met good and bad people along way. I've been doubted about life, about people around me. At some point, I even hated people. I withdrew myself out of society. That's when I feel isolated from the rest of the world. Bad experience had made me become more skeptical because I'm afraid to get hurt again. So, I think 20s is the period when we start to experience life, and see the "not so pretty side" of life. Of course, there are some people that inspire us, make us want to do more. However, there're bad people that just there to hurt and hold us back from our future. But we can't let just few obstacle hold us back from our future. Someone have said that "Good judgement comes from bad experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. "

You sound just like me!! Maybe it really is at the age we are at. I'll be 22 in 5 days, and I feel like everything is so unsettled. I wonder if I chose the right career path, and if not, what is my back-up going to be? I also get so mad at myself because I seem to make the same dumb mistakes!

I think it helps to talk to someone in your life who is older and wiser, maybe a parent or a family friend. I talked to my older sister (she's 11 years older than me) and she told me that when you are in your 20s you are truly discovering yourself and it is something to enjoy. She also said that being young is a time to make many mistakes so that you will learn and know what not to do when you are older. I don't know if that will help you, but it made me feel a little better.

Also, I think it really does get better. My older sister was such a crazy person when she was a teen and in her 20s- she partied a lot and got into a lot of trouble, but now she is the most centered and calm person I know. She's married and has a daughter and is the most responsible one in our family. It's so weird seeing such a change from how she was 10 years ago, so I think things will get better for us!

Good luck, and hopefully we'll figure it all out!

Ya I feel the way you do too.. Well for me I think im just caught up that everyone is moving and making changes as in I need to do the same .. when I'm really going nowhere at all. I think these type of days will come and go. But really you're at the stage where you can make decisions for yourself... it's just whether or not if you want to go with it or not. I'm not sure if you guys understand what I mean but I hope it does

Well, i never had that feeling.. Well.. hmm.. I just enjoy my life. Live life to the fullest have something that you want to do and put your mind and body to it. After i graduated, i laid back and enjoy the freedom (freedom from school.. ). And then, i looked for a job. Now, the money i earn? Of course, i want to enjoy life's pleasures, half of it i spend to all of my wants the other half i give to my parents. (no, i'm not a good boy.. i just feel like i have to give. )

im actually in the same rut. i dont know what the heck am i doing now and i get extremely anxious about what im gonna do for the rest of my life. especially during this one semester of college. i was happily going and flowing with my life and then i turned 21 and wham! i feel like im floundering and i just dunno what to do or how to cope with anything. my grades are suffering too. but i suppose we should just go on with our lives, and just go on and look for inspiration where we can: from friends and family and just hope for the best is all you can really do.

Same here, I'm about to approach my 21st birthday and I still have no idea wat the heck to do with my life. I just know to go to school get my major but after tat wat's next kind of thing. It's giving me a lot of stress since I'm so lost in my own life

im sure its already been said. but i forget if psychologists or sociologists did some kind of research not too long back and came up with a "quarter life crisis". honestlly, i thought id be alot more sure of myself by now(28). but im almost just as confused as i was 5 yrs ago.

my situation might be alot more iscolated than some of the posters on here. but having the responsibilities of lifes necessaries thrown at me faster than the blink of an eye(literally), without any help, and the environment(bad neighborhood) as it was really took a toll out on me. the transition from coming from a family that made 7 figures in a rich neighborhood to where im at right now still feels like trauma, rather than some kind of curveball life threw at me.

in the past yr i got stabbed, two different guns pointed at me, lost my condo, and a friend(died). im not trying to glorify or portray myself as your "token ; im living a hard knock ghetto life", but im 28 and going through similiar things i went through when i thought a rappers life of poverty was cool.....i know there is no perfect science in answering questions like this, but one of the very few thing im sure about in my life is that your surrounding(ppl, social class, shoot even wheather) has a major impact on your life. especially if you are making that transition into your twenties...

I don't know if it's just me...but I've become ever so bitter in my 20s. I've been depressed before, and everything (not clinically...just in general), but now I've just been very apathetic, lazy, and very bitter. In terms of laziness, I'm talking about both physically and mentally. I still study hard, try to get good marks, manage so-so...but I have no more motivation. I still try, but I feel very very burned out, and start getting sick of the entire day the moment I wake up. I wonder if there's a point where I actually start to look forward to everything again..but now, I'm just trudging ahead...trying to let the days pass.

am 20. am worried. life is tough, really is.

do you believe in fate? perhaps "our" lives aren't completely in our control.

remember the important things in life: relationships with family, friends and other loved ones.

Love is key

Love is the answer

As a person recently past that decade, I really don't think your 20s is bad at all. I really think that you tend to over think things when you hit this age... hitting 20 is nowhere near as important as you initially think it is and it only gets less important over time. The 20s is a time of transition and learning about yourself. Most of the time, it's just career worries... but really, those are overblown.

You're still young enough that you can do jobs with no job security or low pay, just for the experience. As long as you can afford to live, since you have minimal responsibility, you can afford to be bold or carefree (depending on your viewpoint LOL). I know people who went to teach English in Japan or go to art school or take a year off to go traveling when they graduated... it's great to establish your career early, but even if you don't, there's tons of time to make up for it later. I know more people who regretted working so hard after graduation than those who regretted not working hard enough.

You're still young enough that you don't have to decide on your career path just yet. So what if you make a career path mistake? You still have time to start over. I know several people who hated what they did for their major after they graduated and worked a few years. So a bunch changed fields. Some guy became an illustrator after spending 10 years in real estate. More than a few people I know (including me) went back to school for totally unrelated fields to their undergrad. In almost every case, we're happier for the change and, in some cases, more successful than if we had stuck it out in the original field.

You're still young enough you can lean on your family yet not have to worry about your own. Since you're not well established in your career they'll be more willing to help and support you. So even if you make a mistake, you have your family to fall back on. I made several mistakes through my career and I've been lucky that my family was willing to help me out with stuff like lending me money for tuition when I needed it. I know a ton of other people who lived at home when they were establishing their career. It's much harder to do it later in your life, but for now, you should feel there's someone who has your back.

You're still young enough that you can easily make new friends and do new activities. Making friends gets harder and harder, not only as you meet less people but as people get tied down to their own responsibilities and families, you're likely to find it more difficult to socialize. So in your 20s, you can still afford to go out at night after work, get some drinks, etc. Esp. once you start working, having money is a huge plus... you'll be able to go better restaurants, travel to new places, do exciting things that you won't be able to do in your teens (and you won't be physically capable of 15 years later LOL).

Really, calm down and step back and put everything in perspective. You're stressing out because of the slow change and addition of responsibilities but I can tell you, your 20s isn't the end-all to your life and it's definitely not a time when you're setting your life course (esp. not in today's world). We're not our parents anymore... very few of us will spend 40 years working the same job at the same company. I went to a great school for undergrad and even then, not all of us settled into our careers for life. So really, don't overthink your future.

If anything, I've always said the 30s is the toughest period of one's life LOL

i had the same feeling too. as i hit every calendar, i started to take things seriously than before... T - T yet I still want to be a kid where they just play everyday not wondering what's going around at them..

One piece of helpful advice I can give you... Is if you fly at the airport a lot... join the admirals club. I'm currently sitting it and it is... quite nice. Lots of rich white suits in here... and they treat you like a king.

Sound like your right on the money. My terrible life started when I was 18, everything just seemed to fall apart and nothing worked out the way I had hoped.

Wow, this thread is warm eye opening. I just graduated about six months ago and have started working with a company. Throughout this six months, many of my friends have moved away and it is making me feel very lonely and useless. I feel like I'm the only one still trapped here and can't move on. I went to several interviews hoping to get an offer somewhere else, anywhere but where I am now, yet the only job offer I got is where I do not want to be. It's almost like I'm in a sinking hole... can't get out, getting pulled deeper and deeper into darkness. It's so hard to meet new people and find new things to do. /sigh/ But after reading this thread, perhaps there's still hope out there.. knowing that others are feeling the same way and that this is probably just a transitory stage of life.

...

Hope everyone will have happy holidays~

^^ Don't worry, hardships are here to make us feel more human. Drama is always gonna find its way into our little lives; just hope you can hold on long enough to see the outcome. Or as others would say, shape your own destiny...When you do...please tell me how =)

i`ve been feeling this way for a while now too.
i just try to look at each situation i go thru as a good thing even if it`s not.
you could always learn from it...

Turned 20 in the summer, and I've become so bitter since. Your post assures me that this feeling is universal. In any case, surviving our twenties may be a difficult task, but we have our thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, and etc. to conquer. Sounds fun.

For me, I guess what hurts me most is realizing that I'm not where I want to be in life. I feel like I've failed myself in so many ways, but I am striving. At this point, I can no longer sit around and day dream.

Aside from that, I'm also trying to figure out what I want in life. I use to think I'd just be some rich ass CEO or something, but now, all I want is to be happy. I don't care about having a fancy job or making crazy dough, I just want to be happy. And.. I suppose, I'm struggling to find out what being happy really means.

What are the two largest concerns for everyone? I think for me..they're generally love and career. My family will always be with me, but those are the 'variable' factors that I can see no light at the end of the tunnel yet..and I'm just plunging forward, trying to find my way. With career, it's more like "I'm trying to work for it", but with love, it's a huge question mark...

aww! i know how you guys all feel! i have been there and done that!

You guys, we are just at that age where we don't really know what to do with our lives since we are out in the world. Some of us are in college and some of us are working. It is a part of growing up without the help of others around you. I mean if you really think about it you are all in it for yourself. Everything you do is for yourself and for your well being. You don't need to impress others around you. Go with your own pace. Don't listen to what others have to say. Once you let them get int your head, trust me, it will bring you down by a whole notch and you will not feel happy. As long as you feel content with how everything is, you will be fine. You are only in your 20s! You have a long way to go! You are still young! Live life to the fullest!

<333

thank you!! haha, totally needed that. i've been feeling trapped in my program for a while now. really hate it, but figured why not finnish it since i'm already halfway there. been planning on taking up something completely unrelated afterwards and people look at like i have 3 heads or something when i tell them this. i guess this is the point in life where it seems like i should have my whole life planned ahead of me and i don't, so i feel bad and guilty about it. self-pity really sux >__<

Wow...

I get a new lesson from you guys to gain something from my own life than whining and crusading for a better life for references. Well, because I developed a cool-to-care habit, so I never expecting something great will appear out of nowhere...Now I'm 23...and my life still stuck n' sucks, but just enjoy it.

I was the same way for most of my 20s, except I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and depression when I was 29. I look back now and see that I was most likely depressed for most of my 20s. I was very definitely angry for most of my 20s. My sister says I was a b@tch to live with. I think a lot of it had to do with feeling like my dreams were unattainable. My dream was to live abroad. Everytime I started working toward that goal something would happen to stop me. By the time I was 29 I was in my last year at univeristy (third time's a charm), working my 8th year at a job I hated with a passion, and I hadn't a clue as to what I was going to do after graduation. However, I did know that my degree field required graduate degrees to get a decent paying job. Then I went to a job fair where all the options were business related (I hate business) except two: Peace Corps and Teach In China. I had never even considered China as an option. I had no interest in China. However, Peace Corps had a long wait time and no guarantees of acceptence. Choose Teach In China and I could leave in six months (three months after graduation). So I choose China, even though it didn't really interest me, but I thought it could be a starting point to a life spent abroad. Now I'm in my fifth year in China and planning to move to Korea in August. I turned 30 a month before coming to China. I feel like my life really started then. I often feel like I had to go through, what was for me "the horrible 20s" to really understand what it's like to enjoy life to it's fullest. Anyway, my point is that for some of us, the 20s, can be a decade of just getting through the day, but you have to do it. The best thing is to keep whatever dream you have had for your life in your mind. Keep thinking about it. Don't give up on it, even when it seems like it will never happen, because one day you will get your chance. Then all the pain of this time will be worth it. You will be amazed at the amount of energy and the positive feelings you will have when that time comes. For now, do your best to keep your marks up so you can get your degree. You might try excercising since it releases endorphins that should help you feel better. Also, make sure you get enough sunlight. Some people feel depressed if they don't get enough sunlight.

welcome to the twenties

dont worry it's a down hill ride from here and i hear when you hit 30 your just going to be plumitting down further

j/k

the only adivce that i'm able to give is just let yourself flow in the tides of life and see where it takes you
and if you dont like it, start swiming
i'm still enjoying the ride ^^

Don't worry, the free fall stops when you hit 40. Right onto the fist of a doctor and a prostate exam.
Woohoo, I get to look forward to that this upcoming new year.

Who knew my New Year's resolution was to play ventriloquist dummy to some proctologist?

I'm getting more lost at my 21st birthday is approaching!!! I'm totally lost in career path and don't even know why I chose the major I did.

I feel ya. Lately there have been so many things going on in my head. I can't sleep at night, and I stay up trying to figure out what exactly went wrong?
My friends don't really understand me right now. Maybe it's partially my fault. I have problems opening myself up to people. Hrmm. Anyways... I've been stressed about my major. No matter how many times I think about it... I get scared about being financially secure and being able to accomplish my dreams. I want to become a teacher and teach abroad, but money-wise... I don't know if it's enough. When I think about my future, I know I will have kids. But I want to be able to give them everything. I want to be able to let them gain experiences that I didn't get to do when I was growing up. Like traveling, spending family trips && not having to worry about money, allowing them to join sports and other organizations without the worry about being able to make ends meet. I don't like the idea of trying to marry someone rich or whatever too. I like to know that I can depend on myself to provide for my family. I don't ever want to be in a position where I feel if my husband were to leave, I would be hopeless. Then I start to think of everything else. First of, I haven't dated in a long time. && the guys I do want to date, are not good enough? And the guys that like me, I feel like they don't really know me. Maybe Im just making excuses but it seems like... the things to worry about seem to increase with age. I really miss those nights where I could just fall asleep and wake up with no worries. (:

It's hard enough for me to deal with my 20th year right now, I'm pursuing a major in college that I probably won't even get into a field for, but I just want a Bach Degree for a backup. Life itself will be much harder in the upcoming years for me. Much much harder.

I feel the same ways... because being 20 is when you're no longer a teen.. that means you an adult
Just stop feeling bad and live.

Age and being an adult is always an arbitrary distinction. People don't "become adults" the minute they hit 20.

Really, being an adult is less about age and more about state of mind and where you are in the stage of life.

what did you choose? and why are you doubting it?

i turned 20 this month.... and yes, i am bitter. i'm clueless about my life... and what i'm going to be. i don't wanna fail in my life.... i wanna be on the right track....... i wanna make sure if the course i've chosen is the right one........... everything seems so confusing now. and i've this sudden feeling that i should think maturely and behave maturely... more like a young lady now, rather than a teenager.

To be honest I have those kind of doubts every now and then myself. I think the thing that most people have problems getting to grips with is whether they should just start to embrace adulthood head on and just forget about most things trivial and vice versa. Most importantly is finding the right balance between both. Gotta enjoy yourself as well as aknowledging you're own responsibilities.

That's my 2 cents anyway

I think it's normal if you do feel that way since there's so many changes going on in life and you're doing college or a job and trying to figure it out. I was that way for a long while myself and just this past year discovered where I wanted to go in life and now am more sure of my goals and how to get there. I do sorta feel bad though because I feel like I've wasted so much time but I don't believe in coincidences and everything happens for a reason.

I find myself being bored with my usual company.
And I'm starting to realize that i'm not much of a phone person anymore.
I'm not depressed at all though. I'd just rather hang out in person rather than on the phone.
Theres so much going on in my personal life.
I'm itching to work.
I have been since I was 14.
>_<

LOL!!! i smile when i read the thread topic because i swear when i got out of my teens and started to live on my own and got into college i started to question everything! like my head was soo messed up. i started to question my faith (Chrisitanity) b/c i was taking these classes in college and meeting people from different faith backgrounds (but dont worry im still a Chrisitan and very dedicated)

i lost touch with some of my friends, i questioned my major, was always worrying about making my parents proud, trying to compete and get on the same level as my older brother and sister. ugh i hate when our family always brags about them to me well their doing this and their doing that blaah blaah blaah! lol

but i know what ur talking about and how ur feeling..trust

I think I've gone out of that stage already while I was in my late teens. I don't really worry as much as when I did when I was younger. I went for a career that everyone told me not to, but because I went for it, I'm just happy.

I guess the way everyone is feeling is they're standing in one position and not moving forward. When you start learning and realizing about what's important, then when you'll feel a great momentum and just live. At least that's how I felt and feel now. Oh I'm only 22.