Do you have an overly strict mom or dad and are they overly protective of you? What rules or laws do they lay down and what are the consequences? I'm asking these questions to figure out if my mom is normal. What's your age? sex? and nationality?

22,f,AA
The only rule in this house is: Look busy or get "the lecture."

22, f, Australian.
I move in and out of home a lot. The only rule is to get to bed by midnight on week nights cuz they get up early for work in the mornings.

20, f, korean american

Be home by midnight (the worst one!). Do chores regularly (in front of them or else they accuse me of doing nothing). I never tell them if I'm seeing a guy. Get perfect or near perfect grades. Never.....ever.... EVER talk back. Consequences vary from getting hit, being yelled at and ignored, getting my car/phone taken away, etc.


living at home sucks.

23, Female, Vietnamese

House must be clean, bills must be paid and must call if not coming home for dinner.

I think my mum is more lax on me since I started my second job.

hahah mine's also look busy or get yelled at.
so long as i look like i'm doing homework or something productive, my parents leave me alone.
but i'm also very good at tuning em out or talking back.
they always hafta warn me not to stay out late or hang out w/ inappropriate boys, or squandering my money..but its probably out of habit
23, female, chinese - canadian

Sigh.... No guys of yet.

23, M, Filipino American

My mom pretty much gives me complete freedom. I guess the only rule we have would be to stay out of trouble. Otherwise, she lets me do my own thing. She doesn't make me do house chores either but I help out anyway. As far as consequences go, she sometimes nags me a little or lays on the guilt.

jesus asian parents. lol WELL MINE WOULD BE TO ACT LIKE I"M DOING SOMETHING OTHERWISE THEY THINK I"M USELESS.

age: 20
sex: M
nationality: vietnamese

yea my parents are SUPER strict!!!
basically they have me on lockdown 24/7
rarely do i ever get to go anywhere even when i try asking them for permission. im not even allowed to go anywhere with my cousins unless either one of their parents or one of mine are there to "supervise"
and they are always busy so thats never..how lame
my parents set a curfew for me still....10pm
plus they say that the reason they dont let me go anywhere is bc "i should spend my time studying bc i can play/hang out whenever for the rest AFTER i finish school"
==;

im kinda limited to how i can dress (none of that vintage looking clothes with holes or anything) bc it makes me look like a hobo..they yell at me if i style my hair spiky or any other way asian ppl normally style it although i do it anyways. they want it to be cut so that i can comb it to the side (as they would say, "like the president") wtf?!
to my parents, guys dying their hair or piercing there ears = your gay
guys should only hang out with guys and girls should only hang out with girls..im not allowed to date until i graduate from university
and they expect us to live at home until we get married
the letter grade B is NOT good enough for them
they say that i dont need a car bc insurance is too high and that they will take me anywhere i need to go (which is a hassle bc they are always going places and its hard for them to take me where i need to go--like work and school)

oh, and they tell me to come home and study when i need to meet with my study group
and although they STRESS about school being #1 priority, when im at home they expect me to do all the house chores before i can study

i cant think of anythinig else right now but if i do, i will add more
my parents are very OLD FASHIONED.

I'm filling this out for my boyfriend since I live in the dorms right now


23/M/Chinese

His parents give him complete freedom... sometimes he goes out and doesn't get home until 4,5am and his parents are okay with that. His mom usually calls him to ask if he is going to come home for dinner.

Maybe you should post whay you can or can't do and we can be the judge:)

I don't live at home but when I did, I had to follow the house rules. No MTV, no Mortal Kombat or any violent games, absolutely nothing that's remotely sexual...e.g. my mom would cut up and trash the SI swimsuit issue, no girls over if the parents aren't there, yada yada.

I moved out when I was 23, Male, Korean...my parents are white, my mom was a former nun. My mom was strict when it came to girls but really lapse on other areas. I had no curfew, they had no problems with drinking and smoking, etc.

22 Male Korean.

Overprotectiveness and rules:

1. I have to be either studying or do something productive. Or i get a lecture on how un productive I am and get compared with other people.
2. I can't play games like internet games or systems. She ends up giving it to my cousins.
3. I can't eat in my room only on the dining room table.
4. Curfew is at 12. After it strikes 12 she calls me and talks with this angry non shouting voice, that scares me.
5. I can't sleep over someones house ever.
6. I can't go out with some of my friends because she thinks they are nothing but "useless" and "non productive" people.
7. If she needs me to do something I have to drop everything I do and help her unless it's work or school related.
8. Christmas, Thanksgiving, New Years, Birthdays must be spent with the family.
9. I have to stay home whenever she has a bad dream.
10. I must do all chores around the house because you will become a better husband.
11. Don't make convo's with the girls that dress all skimpy. Stay clear of them.
12. You must get a 3.5+ GPA. A is good, B is bad, C is not in her vocabulary.
13. Be well groomed and clean when you go out.
14. When girls are over all doors must be opened wide.
15. Girls can't sleep over.

My mom's a very conservative person. I got used to it, but at times feel like i'm in boot camp or some kinda of prison. And she's getting laid back, in high school it was even worse.

oh yea...definately # 2, 6, 11, & 12 with my parents

I understand that asian parents can be very conservative/strict, but some of the "rules" that are posted here seem ridiculous. Curfew? at age 20+? What??

22/f/korean american

my parents are pretty okay. they just don't like me to stay out too late and of course i must call them to let them know if i'm going to be late. they nag me about studying for the lsat..but they're right about that. that's pretty much it. i'm definitely moving out within 7 months though. i miss the freedom i had during college.

Based on other posters, your mom sounds normal to me for a Korean/Asian parent. I don't know anything about asian parents so based on white parent standards, your mom is very conservative.

21 m filipino

my parents aren't really strict. i have no curfew but my father gets mad when i stay out beyond 10pm and not text/call to tell them where i am. especially when i come home drunk. they don't get mad or lecture me when they see me doing nothing. they used to nag me all the time about how i should study harder, but they stopped that when i was 15. they don't require us to do chores. we usually have maids for that. but sometimes, for one reason or another, the maids leave (sometimes we fire them). when that happens, we have to do the chores. as of today, that is our situation at home. yeah, i just cleaned 2 bathrooms before i went on soompi, hehe. also, when they ask me to do something (eg take the car to the mechanic/car wash, fix their computer), they want it done RIGHT AWAY. no delays, no excuses.

Not really.
But I think my parents feel really guilty and bad cos I am postponing education to help them out...plus, they borrowed lots of money from me. I work everyday, no days to rest just to help them out. I think that's why they aren't restrict.

I think my parents are the same way, but they still want me to continue my education while i help them out, even if i am working a full time job. My parents just don't fight me on the little issues anymore as much as they use too though.

23 / f / Korean American

My parents give me complete freedom, mostly because I fought for it all throughout high school and I guess I kind of made them give up on imposing any sort of discipline/rules on me haha. I was a very rebellious teenager. But on the plus side, now I can do whatever I want, as long as I let my parents know when I'm going out and when I will be back. I do get the occasional lectures on being productive / work / school stuff, but it's something that I can deal with. I never have friends or boyfriends come over to my house, so I don't have to deal with any thing in regards to that (I go to their places).

I think my parents are very lax for Asian parents, especially Korean parents. Even when my sister and I rebel at times or disobey them in some way, they always get over it and accept and love us for who we are (like when my sister got a tattoo, or when I wear things they don't like-- like black nail polish haha).

I told my parents i wanted a tattoo on my back or on my forearm or maybe both. She said she'd disown me and kick me out the house. I thought it was a joke but she seemed serious. Oh I remember some time after, my sister came home with a vienna tattoo. My mom pulled out the kitchen scissors and was about to cut her hair bald. lol I wonder if i will become as strict as they are, worse, or lax when I become a parent.

20/F/Chinese Canadian

My dad gives me basically all the freedom because he doesn't have time for me. He's always working, and if he's not working, he's infront of the TV or sleeping.

My mother, however, is the strict one. However, this past year she has become more leniant.
No sleeping over at friends house esp. if they have a brother or father (with the exception of one of my friend's b/c she's best friends with her mother)
If I'm going anywhere, I must state where, when, with who, and what time I'll be home. If there's a male name in there, she'll bombard me with further questions.
If I'm not studying then she'll ask me why I'm not doing my hw or what my grades are. T_T
She says I can marry anyone I want but if I mention "Brown or Black" she immediately says no and says she'd kick me out of the house.
I would be disowned if I turned lesbian haha not that I am. Just asked.
I can't dye my hair or else I'd look like a slut. Yes, I've had virgin hair my entire life.
No piercings on my face or tattoos anywhere.
Guys can't sleep over.
She always lectures me about low-cut shirts. (And they're seriously not that low, plus I don't have any boobs anyways =P)
Ah I can't think of anymore. Haha. Yeah but my mom is becoming more lax. Maybe now she's just too tired of raising me for 20 years. lol.

lol...my parents say they would disown me if i ever did anything of that extreme ALL THE TIME. but the fact that they expect me to live at home until i get married (traditionally) it seems that they wont disown me if i did..i was thinking about coming home with a fake tatoo one day to see what they would do
and when you said that you wonder if you will be like/ more laxed than your parents...all i can say is that IMO, when i become a parent i dont want to be too strict like my parents were. its just going to make them become rebellious and want to fight back. i'll only be strict to a certain point and be more on the relaxed side and let kids be kids (something my parents never let me do)

lol i like your number 9

22/m/ USA (Texas)

well i dont really with my parents but i live soo close to them that im over there alot but yeah my parents arent really that strict.

Yes, both are equally strict.

Rules and laws? Pretty much work or study, take your choice. I don't need to do much housework any more since I work full time and have the second highest salary in the family. The consequences? Many hours of lectures which may or may not involve crying.

I'm 23, male and Chinese Filipino.

Girls and friends can stay over, girlfriend can sleep with me in my bed, they like to give all my friends and girlfriend food to take home, even if they're just stopping by. Since I'm the most technical in the family, any item that breaks down, I MUST fix it. I still teach them how to use the plasma, stereo amp, dvd player, etc.

---

When I leave the house, they always remind me to be careful when I drive, stay away from trouble areas, etc. Sometimes they call me out of the blue when I'm out and tell me to be careful because on the news there was a shooting/stabbing/etc.

>_<

It's difficult being the youngest.

As my parents put it, "if you live under our roof, you obey our rules. Doesn't matter how ridiculous they seem. If you don't like them, you can leave."

23/f/Chinese Canadian

I live at home out of necessity (student and therefore, poor) more than out of choice. I can't go out on weeknights. On weekends, I'm allowed out late only if y mom doesn't have to work on the weekends. If I go out, I have to tell the parental units where I'm going. If it's late, I have to call in and give them a time for when I'll be home. If not, it'll be endless calls to my cell. I must go to church with them on Sundays. I have to do my share of the housework.

They're strict, but they're starting to back off a bit. I think it has to be an Asian thing. My boyfriend's Caucasian and his parents have been so lenient with him and his brother since they were kids. Same thing for my Caucasian friends.

20, f, chinese/hmong

-weekdays be home by 9:00 pm
-weekends be home by 12:00 pm
-help around the house w/out being told
-if go out...let the parents know and who you are with....
-basically, all the rules when i'm still in high school T_T

F, 20, Hmong

your mom sound somewhat like my mom....
they should be best friends... hahahaha...
anywoo, i think your mom sounds like every other mom....

Jesus. Not the moms I know. Both my best friend and close friend have like no rules. The only rule they set is don't drive drunk and use a condom. And they don't listen to those either. I asked my mom to be more lax like my aunts and she said go live with them if you want some lax parents.

And it's kind of embarassing. We hang out till like 2 AM and my friends asking me is it okay for me to stay out till 2 in front of girls. Than I get teased for being a mommas boy.

I remember saying that once to my mom.... and she flipped out by telling me the same exact thing.
I don't think its so bad.....
Besides... a mother will always be a mother..

the only thing that bothers me about a major rule is:
I can not date chinese or viet.
But my exbf was chinese and viet.... i just stuck through it. ^^ I felt so brave.

HAHAHHA. My mom's worse. She says nothing close to or resembles the color black. No hispanics. No terrorists ( her sick humor.) No chinese. I got tired and asked her whats okay. She said hmm... let me think. Some asians are okay. Almost anything white is okay but you have to becareful and umm thats it. And she tells me she's not racist.

I'm more open minded tho. I'm open to all races as long as we can live and respect each cultures.

relationship wise i think your mom is stricter than my mom...
hahahaha...
My father doesn't care though....

20/m/korean/texas

my parents don't care what i do.
they live downstairs and i live upstairs, i pretty much have 3 rooms to myself.
i'd move out but there's really no incentive for me to, i take 12 hours at UTA, and i work 30 hours in a warehouse that pays 12.50 an hour, then 30 more hours at Fry's Electronics as a sales rep, at almost 20 dollars an hour.
They leave me alone, they feed me, dont lecture me.
i think i'll stay till i graduate.

I'm Vietnamese, 20 years and 18 days old. My parents are not strict (at all). No rules. They just want me home, while going to College fulltime and work on the weeends, to help out around the house... and the siblings.

lol....yea i hate when i go out and then we have to leave around 1 just to get home...and ppl just start arriving at that time

- i have to be home by 8, dinner with the family, HAS to be with family i can't leave the table until i'm finished
- Winter time, i have to be home by 6
- no going out to see my friends, it's my final year and i have to concentrate
- I wanna go to Japan with some uni friends after i graduate, my mum says they'll beat me rape me sell me to a local brothel and rob me blind and leave me for dead or WORSE, kill me.
- i wanna go out to have dinner with friends, b'day or w/e, NO, they'll mug me of my money, slip drugs in my drink, take advantage of me
- no bf until i finish university, i need to concentrate
- no dating other races unless Chnese...not even China born Chinese, HK Chinese or BBC

Consequences
- threaten that if i fail it's my own fault and that it'll be the end of the world and i'll be poor and starving and everyone i meet will look down on me
- i'll be used and abused by so called "friends" and if $hit goes down they'll drop me like a sack of potatoes
- tell me if i stay out late i'll be abducted, raped, beaten, mugged, killed by all those perverts,murderes,drug dealers who are being let out of jails because they're over crowded
- about a good hour of telling off and how they actually care when they say all these things and that i don't know how the world is and that i should be more careful
- if i marry and have kids other than chinese my kids will forever be condemned to racial remarks and racial abuse from the society around them

Yeh can't live with them can't live without ^^



21, F, Chinese (BritishBC)

i am responsible fro dropping off my niece to school every morning
i have to do the dishes (that's my chore)
i have to take out the trash
when it comes to hanging out with friends..i can't do it too often...i have a curfew..it's usually 12 am..if i pass the curfew ill get a phonecall from my mom to tell me to go home..i can usually ask for an extension but i can't do it too often..

22.f.filipino

20/f/chinese/singaporean

-no curfew but my mum love calling me whenever i'm out just to check.
-they'll nag like mad if i stay out drinking or hanging out with friends.
-they just need me to get distinctions at school and everything will be ok.
-and i'm not to move out till i'm married or abroad working. why not? free food and bed~!
-and if i want to go on a trip, i've to save by myself but my mum and dad ends up stuffing some cash to me before i leave for the airport.
-i'm the spoilt younger child, they say.. haha ..

your parents sound exactly like mine...but im not chinese
20,f,disclosed
i hate my dad, he's never home which i consider a good thing,but when he's here, he tries to be sweet, and if i dont follow his rules he flipps out and starts threatening me, and when i stay clear outta his way after, he trys to buy my love back.. its pathetic really. he's very controlling.
my mom is better, shes overly religious, every time i disagree, she thinks im possessed... . we have our own contract that my dad doesnt know about due to some things i said.i do what i want as long as i tell her and im done all my school work, no drinking, smoking, drugs, no boys , etc

my mom says i need to marry someone like you because I don't like to do housework, but then she added that guys like that probably don't exist. haha YOU DO EXIST!

21/M/Korean I haven't had a curfew or a set of rules on me since I was I think 12? My parents are the complete opposite of stereotypical asian parents, they've given me all the freedom in the world.

My parents use to be overly protective of me but as I grew older they've come to understand that i am grown enough to do what I want. I'm 20 years old, female and Asian. I don't have any rules but I know that every parent would be very worried about their daughter or son, so I tell them where I'm off too and who I'm with so that they don't have to fear for me.

O gosh, I live at home and my parents are somewhat in the middle on being strict.
They have their days when they want to torture me and tell me I can't go out. I'm hmong and 21 and GIRL so it sucks for me.
It's like highschool all over again. *sigh* I can't to graduate and live on my own. sheesh...(note: that's what I said in highschool too)

^^ I'm Hmong too and a girl so things do suck for us!

However...I was blessed to have my parents because they are not the stereotypical Hmong parents. I don't have a curfew and can go out when I want. I can say..."I'm going out and I'll be back" and they'll usually say..."Ok...be careful." I'm 23 so they trust me and know I'll make the right decisions. I actually am not a huge partier or anything anyway...I'll go clubbin occassionally but thats about it.

I think the reason my parents are so different is because we grew up Christian (Lutheran to be exact)...granted there are alot of stereotpyical Christian Asian parents but my parents weren't those extreme types. They had a pretty good balance between....beating us if we did wrong and trusting us to make the right decisions.

Don't get me wrong...they still got those Hmong values and views...especially my dad...he once said he would disown me if I didn't marry a Hmong guy BUT he has changed a bit....now he would never disown me but he still has that hope that I will marry Hmong. I told him though I wasn't sure if that would happen...lol...

When I was younger...I had more rules but now that I'm 23...I pretty much have my freedom.

Don't get me wrong, I don't like it either. And it doesn't mean i'll do all the housework myself when i'm married but I'm willing to help and split it 50/50.

22/f/korean

Abiding to my parents' rules aren't such a big deal to me since I don't go out too late and participate in drinking/partying/smoking/other harsh life styles. So I can't really list what they enforce.

Curfew's a big downer for me and is something I complain about a lot. Coming home at 10:30p kinda sucks for me... But I can usually call in if I am going to be home late (unfortunately they would refute and DEMAND me at home right away @_@ ). And if my boyfriend's in town, the curfew becomes 12:00a and ANY extension to my curfew ends at 12:00a. It certainly was better than coming home at 8:00p.. which was until I got a job which required working late nights. (18)

I don't mean to be sexist AND racist, but I'm surprised that Asian men are enforced strict rules of parents. You know.. since traditional parents pamper their sons.. Maybe I'm just bitter because they're so lenient with my younger brother, and my older sister (who's "the favorite")

^^^ Good point!

I was also a bit surprised to read how many guys had those strict rules enforced. My brothers never really had any rules enforced on them like I did.

My senior year in high school...my dad was worried about me and friends driving 3 hrs away for senior skip day BUT when my younger brother became a senior...he went to NEW YORK CITY (we live in MI) with him and his stupid crazy friends...and my dad was pretty cool with it!

Well in middle school I didn't really have much restrictions but my LOVING sister changed it all. She kept telling my parents how it's unfair and sexist that she has all these restrictions and I don't. And so my mom enforced it on both.

My mom was about to let go of my curfew when I was 21 but again my sister started complaining and so yeah...