So I had this guy friend called Rick and we got really close as friends, and yeah some feelings were developed, but most of them were on my part. He had some but we "lived too far" ... about an hours drive apart. ANYWAYS,

Near the beginning of the year we agreed to go to my prom together (just as friends), and he made this big huge thing about it and said that he promised, and no matter what he would go.

So then he got a girlfriend around December ish, and that was great and all. (I was a bit heart broken because I had a teeny crush, who wouldnt right?)
But he was happy so its all good. Even if he just suddenly dropped all of his friends to spend time with his new girl. Of course the dilema was if he was still going to prom with me. I asked him about it and he said that he would think about it over the winter break and let me know after two weeks.

So the two weeks went by, and I got no reply. Another week and a half went by and then I finally asked him about it.
He went all "Oh ... umm... sorry but I can't because of my girl now you know? So Im sorry because I know I promised and yeah..."
I knew that it was a 95% chance of him saying "No" but a small part of me hoped he would just say "yes" because he like promised right? And after that he didn't even ask if I was ok and all.

So when I told him how I felt he said that "You should have known it was going to be a no. And I didnt tell you earlier because... I didnt want to feel obligated in telling me."

I guess the real answer Im mad is not because of prom... its just that he didnt respect me enough to give me a real answer and that I had to actually draw one out of him , because God knows if he talks to ME anymore.

I guess Im still a little bitter and Im letting it go, but it just really bothers me... am I just stressing over nothing?

Uh. You're mad about prom.

You're mad because when you two promised you'd go to prom together, you liked him and you thought he liked you and maybe something miraculous would start just after this promise. Well, I think you should have known fsho that he was NOT going to go to prom with you as soon as he got a girlfriend. I mean, think about it. If you were the girlfriend and your boyfriend says that he has to go to prom with some other girl who likes him because of some promise made a year ago, wouldn't you be jealous and mad? He's HER boyfriend, not yours. She has more claim to him than you do. Personally, if my boyfriend did that to me, I'd be SO MAD. I'm his girlfriend, not her. Besides she has feelings for him!!!

I know you're mad because you like him and that just ruined the chances of you two being together and all but like. Seriously. You were hoping that maybe he would consider you. Even if he did agree to go with you, that would NOT be a fun prom because he'd be sulking more than having fun with you because he's not there with his girlfriend. AND. it's not nice to go after a guy who is already taken. Don't be the b itch. Play cool, alright?

I think you misunderstood?

I am definately not mad about prom. Its fine that he can't go with me. Sure it would have been nice and all but I really am fine with it.

Im more mad at the fact that he didnt just give me the straight answer, that I had to actually go to him myself and force it out of him.

Hm, I think you have the right to be upset but not mad. I personally really don't think it's right for guys with girlfriends to go with another girl to prom, despite if they're just friends or not. And as his friend, you should understand that. But at the same time... you deserve to be upset at him because he didn't care enough to apologize and make sure you're okay especially if he promised. Anyways, I say just forget about him and find someone better to go to prom with :]

Uhm he was obviously going to say no and didn't know how to say it because of the "promise" and he knew you'd be mad or sad and just didn't want to deal with that. I think you should've expected it and not asked him unless he brought it up ..because like j!lee said you wouldn't want your boy to go to prom with some girl you don't even know. And, i dont get why he should see if you were okay because its not like you guys were dating and he broke your heart or something. Don't get me wrong, he SHOULD've apologized but he doesn't have to be like "are you okay?" etc.

honestly it sounds like you're more mad that he has a girlfriend.

i think its okay if you're bitter, but you shouldnt really be mad at him.
it was kind of inevitable that he wasnt going to go with you
if you were this close to him, you could have even said something along the lines of "its okay, i understand" and you two could still be friends

eek, I should be more careful with the way I word things.

Mad is definately too strong, now that I saw "upset" its more like it.

I DO get why he said no, but as I said before... Im just upset that he couldnt just tell me.

uhm as to being upset you have the right to be upset. but ya know. . let it go and dont think about it.

I know, I just thought I'd get the opinons of others. Because well... friends are biased.

They're more of the "KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM." variety.

It's normal to feel that way, as long as you're not taking it over the top. xD I mean yeah, he has his reason for blowing you off but he should've just come out and say it instead of avoiding it and asking for more time to think about it. It's pretty obvious...

Yeah this was what I was trying to say

Well... Maybe not mad. But if he promised to you that he was going to go with you, and then backed out... Because he has a girlfriend it's understandable. But he should have told you quickly instead of dragging it out like that. No excuse for that really.

i hate to say this but you kinda knew what was coming after he got a new gf..

maybe it was a lil wrong of him to not give you an answer but don't stress over it.

i noticed you have a tiny crush on him.. don't expect him to live up to his promises when he has someone.. it's not right.. it's not like you're with him.. you guys are friends. turn the other way around and see if it's right.

yeah. i thought exactly the same thing as the first replier:

You're angry about Prom.

he's right that u couldve jst assumed
but he couldve also jst told u that he was going to break the promise
and he probably only made the promise in the first place cos he liked u a bit before and didnt noe that his girl was gonna come along...
he assumed that he wouldve still liked u based on his feelings at that time..
but i dont think that u should get angry over it..jst let it go

this teaches u EARLY on in life that all guys r like that
they would not give u straight answers
i mean you were smart enuff to know that 95% chance of him saying no is AXUALLY 110% saying no
u know that he has a girlfriend and u STILL bothered to ask him
yes i know u like him
yes i know that he made a promise
BUT, and that a big BUT
that the fact still doesn't change
that he didn't or realized later after he is with his girlfriend that he didn't like u
i mean r u serious enuff to think his girlfriend is gonna let her man take some girl to her prom?
so, in life, guys will never give u straight answers
this is a light lesson.

my opinion: he's an ass =P

This kinda happened to me two years ago but i was the one who had a bf. Well at the start of the year i hardly knew any guys so i was sure that i would have no date to my year 10 formal so i asked my childhood friend if he could go with me because it's been ages since we've seen each other since he lives in a different state.. so yeah he agreed but then later that year unexpectedly i had my first boyfriend haha and he asked me to his formal. he was obviously expecting to go to mine as well but i told him straight out "sorry but i already asked a friend of mine to go with me earlier this year =P you're too late lol" he was kinda like "WHAT?! as if ask someone so early!" but yeah my bf was upset for abit with me but he got over it.

so yeah ur friend is a total ass. because if he was really a friend he woulda said straight out to his girl that he made a promise with you. or at least had the decency to tell u straight out that his girl might not be fine with it or he's scared himself that he would cheat on her

he shouldn't have kept u hanging. i mean he made u wait for 3 weeks sheesh u coulda used that time to ask someone else haha

I agree with you. And yes, you certainly have every right to be mad. It's stupid how he made promises and such like he was definitely going and backs out in the end. I don't think going to prom with a close friend is a big deal even if you have a girlfriend... especially when you've already promised you'd go, 'ya know? It's like, you shouldn't make things out of a big deal with promises and everything for something that's months and months ahead if you can't fully be committed and keep to that promise. Even worse that he wasn't even concerned of how you've felt and said things which showed that he's a complete jerk.

omg dont cry i will go to prom with you



haha a guy who drops his homeboys to be with a beezy? u can do better.

it shows his lack of expirence and lack of game. he's gonna get whooped by this girl and spend all his money on her and his boys are gonna drop him out and leave him to rot alone when she is done playing with him.

a man should understand that family comes first, responsibliites to friends and work and such come 2nd and its up to you to decide if its ur dream or your girl that comes 3rd, but u can only pick one.

gosh what a jerk
a promise is a promise
it's not like he's gonna cheat on his girlfrd with you
just going as frds
move on, what a nice guy he was

I'd be mad . And I don't care if people are like 'omg! you're just jealous that he has a gf!'
No. I'd be mad because it took him that long to just say a simple no. If it was so OBVIOUS why didn't he just say 'No, sorry. I can't because of my girlfriend.'?
He led her to believe that there was still a possibility that he would still go with her so yeah. She has a right to be upset.

Like another poster said: I'll go to prom with you . Even if I am a girl. o_o Lol.

this age level is such a volatile time for guys and girls..

it is like asking companies to keep to binding contracts to deliver stuff in a time of incessant violent conflict (war).

in contract law we have what is known as exceptions to the need to perform: "acts of God and War" (Deus Ex or Force Majeure)

relationships at our age are the same. everything is so rent by unstoppable forces that seeking to bind anyone to any promise is a bit risky.

so i do not think you have a right to be angry. i think your deep disappointment is manifesting itself as anger.
(although i too would be ANGRY >< and i wud struggle to folow my own advice....)

i'd be most definitely upset because you two made that promise way before he had a girlfriend. a promise is a promise, and you did say you two were going just as friends. as FRIENDS. i've seen some people go to other people's proms even when they have a girlfriend/boyfriend. i wouldn't be mad at my boyfriend if he went to his FRIEND's prom because he promised.