I've struggled with this for many years and its really hard for me to go to church alone. I don't have christian friends plus its really hard for me to meet ppl in general because i'm so shy. I remember being at church when i was in hs and since i never had the time, with sports and everything, to attend youth group i felt like an outsider. i go to church now alone its a bigger church thousands plus, but i'm craving the smaller environment atmosphere but its easier to go to a big church alone than to go to a small church alone. Its always so awkward when you're sitting there by yourself. anyone have any experiences to share?

You might feel a little bit strange going to a smaller chruch alone, but usually there are people there who will take the first step to say hi. Even so, building relationships takes a lot of time. If you attend regularly, and take the time to get to know the people there, you'll realize how close you get to some people. I'm sure you could get plugged into a small group, where you'll definitely get to know some people. I always liked going to a small church better than going to a big church.

i dont attend church by myself, but like what bork said attend that church regularly then trying joining on some of the activities that go on after church or during the week, like bible studies

I'm actually going through this myself, but in my case I like going to a larger church. My church is pretty big, probably close to a thousand. It does make it harder to meet people since many are with someone else and those that came alone are scattered about. I'm also quite shy so I'm probably not going to strike up a conversation with someone unless they initiate it. Many people also sit in different spots every Sunday so I usually see different people every time I go, therefore never able to become friendly with anyone. Maybe while I'm at church I'll pray that I'll meet someone! hehe.

Are there online churches that i can attend from home or the office?

Televison.

Man the only place I don't socialize is in church. It feels awkward in the beginning and after when it ends but I don't mind. I like listening to my pastors sermon and eavesdropping on people spreading rumors all over the place. It's amusing how fast rumors spread in a church and how people judge them based on the rumors.

oftentimes the different ministries will go out for fellowship as a group, for example at my church it's EM College/Young Adult and we do activities together and stuff.

another way to meet people is by going to smaller, more intimate sessions such as friday night bible study, where you can actually get to meet people.

best of luck

I've done it. You just have to find the right place. Some churches are very clique-like and if you don't know anybody already in, you'll get a bunch of stares. Other places, the people will be more friendly. Just keep on going to different ones until you are comfortable with one. You should speak up a bit and introduce yourself but if the congregation is not reciprocating then it's time to bounce. They have a job to make others feel comfortable- it's God's house after all and everybody should be welcome with open arms, even if it is a homeless person. If they're scaring off new people or selecting who they should be nice to, then it's not a church I'd want to attend.

one of the main purposes of church is to have fellowship with others and to worship as a congregation... you just can't get that being by yourself at home in front of the tv.

^ fellowship shouldn't be the main purpose of going to church. The main purpose is to hear your pastor teach you new things from the bible and apply it in the outside world. I'm not against fellowship, I just think it shouldn't be a major factor of going to church.

You know...a lot of people go to church for the sole purpose of networking and getting contacts (morally and religious not sound..but I heard of a some new immigrants doing this to get jobs).

I agree that there are people who go for purely religious reasons.

And I guess you're never really "Alone alone"..there will be a bunch of people in the same room.

i usually go with my family. but my parents are protestant. so they attend services at a methodist church. fine by me, except that it's a 40 minute drive from home (the service itself lasts only about an hour). so if there's not much time, i attend mass at the catholic church down the street, alone. i was catholic-schooled, by the way.

I always go to church alone and I never felt it being an oddity. I guess it's because I was raised Catholic, and with that came going to many years of Catholic school. Most of my elementary and middle school years were spent in a place where both the school and the parish at which I attend mass are together. So, over the course of nearly 35 years or so I pretty much have become well-immersed within that particular community. I may go to the church alone but since I know, or at least am acquaintances with, a good segment of the congregation I don't feel particularly alone while attending services.

But my experience is different because it has been something that has been developed through time. I think if you just attend services at the same place and perhaps consistently at the same time, over time you will develop that feeling of belonging and not necessarily feeling alone. You'll realize that a lot of other people that go to church are creatures of habit - and before you know it you'll recognize people. This also works conversely as other people soon come to recognize you. Saying 'hello' or 'have a good day' after the services to the people you consistently see can also be a good start. I don't know if your church hosts social functions, such as pancake breakfasts or whatever after the services, but that's an opportunity to get some exposure and perhaps meet some nice people.

Don't look at being alone as if it were being some kind of detraction in the eyes of others. We all have to start somewhere, you know?

i do because my family is busy. I'm used to be lazy but i'm trying to get my bum to go church often.It feels good if i arrive to church on time and attend the whole holy mass. Alone? I don't think so. In fact i prefer to go by myself. After it's a time for my peace of mind

My fam is kinda funny....my mom, sister's and myself all go to our own respective churches. Essentially, we all go to church by ourselves. It's really not that bad actually. It is actually hard for the introverted people...because no matter what people say, some churches have their own cliques and you'd feel like the odd man out. If you do plan on attending one, I'm hopeful that the people would welcome you with open arms...

I can't say I understand how it is to go alone.... I was grown up as a baby going to church with my parents and little brother. So pretty much I've gone weekly for 22 years of my life. I go to a pretty big church and I know when like newcomers come we're not the "best" at you know, making them feel really welcome. It's just hard cuz there's so many people and everyone's got their "groups" and stuff....

But I've seen small churches.. and I think for college aged or young adults it's better to find people your age... whether the church is small or big. Some of my friends switched churches to smaller churches but they say like "oh, i'm like one of the 5 college members"... and I'm like whoa..5?? hehe.. so in that sense you're kinda you know, you won't be able to make a lot of same-aged friends.

When you're visiting a church... try to talk to the pastor, or ask a couple people sitting around you to like introduce you to people... cuz I think the newcomer can't just SIT through service and then go home... expecting somehow magically he/she will feel "at home" haha you know? hehe... yep it's hard.... but you gotta make an effort =) Talk to the pastor... and I'm sure he/she will know who's more friendly and also active/involved in church to introduce you to. From there you meet other people.

If the church people go out to eat lunch or something after service, try to go out with them. Eating out is a really good way of getting to know people in a church.... also like weekend events or small groups... small groups are good cuz then you can get to know a small group of people in a more deeper way than meeting 50 strangers at service hehe.

And you also shouldn't "church hop" forever..... expecting something to click. In my opinion all churches are 'the same' to some aspect... there's no perfect church. So try sticking with one for a few months and go weekly. Once you start going weekly people WILL or should notice you and then approach you and ask if you're new.. But yeah, I think if you just say hi to some people around you.. and ask like "can you introduce me to some people my age?" then they'll be more than happy to

This is a judgment-al thing haha.. but it's somewhat true...? ...don't hurt me. I'm not saying everyone who sits in the back are bad haha... but... usually at the front the more "active" people sit there... the people who "know everyone" i like to think. Cuz at my church... if a newcomer were to sit in the back.. and then ask those people "hi can you introduce me to some people..." i'm sure they'll be like "mm........"

1. Say hi to the pastor and say you're new
2. Fill out a newcomer's card/give contact info
3. Get involved... go to events and go out to eat (fellowship) = automatic friends.
4. Ask to get introduced.. don't just sit there expecting everyone to come to you

Pray about it =) And don't feel lonely.... cuz it's hard... you just gotta keep trying... u know? It doesn't mean the church is bad or anything... u just gotta try. And the church size thing... it's something you'd have to pray about. Cuz even in big churches you can find core groups and get plugged in just as quick.. as smaller churches. =)

Dang i wrote too much haha.... good luckkkk~! and keep praying for your family to go too hehe~~~ Happy Easterrrr

theres nothing wrong with going church alone.. it's not a place to socialize its a place to worship God..

its not a place to socialize but it is a place to fellowship and grow with fellow believers. We can worship God anywhere and by ourselves. But we have church for a sense of community. And it also says in the bible that "when two or three are gathered in His name I am there in the midst of them"

i was talking to a friend of mine and we agreed that these days its hard for the single young adult to find a place in church. the highschool group have each other, the college group, and then the young couples, and then the families. but it is common for those 20s/30s singles to feel out of place. actually im not sure if the topic starter is in this group but i felt like mentioning it since i just talked to someone about it the day before

and i agree that the person will have to make the effort to reach out but i cant help but feel like he/she shouldnt have to. Ive gone around churches before and it make a bit angry that people in the church arent reaching out to newcomers and staying in their own comfortable circles. This tends to happen a lot in bigger churches because theres always the assumption that someone else will do it or faces do get lost in the crowd.

but ive been there~ive gone to a new church as a college student from across the country and had no one come up to me (i swear i dont have horns or anything). i had to take the initiative and talk to people~which turned out pretty well~

I go with fam.
I prefer a big church.
The small churches i've been to are just so cliquey and MORE SOCIAL than religious.

I also was raised in the church environment, so it actually was rather refreshing going to a new church on my own and being completely anonymous. I don't have many Christian friends in the city I live in now, so by default I've been going to church on my own. I guess it really depends on what you are looking for in attending church. For me, life is so hectic and I feel like I barely ever have quiet time so church is a place to just be quiet and be with God with no distractions.

And I agree with pikapika about people in their 20s/30s having a hard time finding their place in church. The church I go to now has a 20s group which really caters to people right out of college, because most people will be married in the next couple of years after college. It felt awkward to be in that group after a certain age.

I would suggest trying one Sunday a small church. At a small church people are more likely to notice you more and say hi and whatnot. My church is a medium size one (maybe 300-500 regularly) and people do notice newbies and there are other ways to get to know people like smaller Bible studies and whatnot. See if your church has that and if not try a small church. I'm shy at first too and smaller groups I like better. My church has a group that's the early 20 somethings and it's small but it's not tiny so you can still get to know people. It took me a long time for me to not be shy... so I totally understand where you're coming from.



Well you don't really need a church for that.... I agree about fellowship. Worship is a bonus with church but also the fellowship and having studies with each other. You can do Bible studies with people at home or something. My church does that and we also do prison ministries.



Yup. My church has a 20 something age groups now. There used to be the 20 something's out of college and than a college group but a lot of the college people are gone away with school out of town so now there's just a whole 20-something group since everyone is pretty much the same age's. It's nice though since I'm an older college student and most of my friends were in the other group so now I can be with them and not feel so a lone in Bible studies. In our group there's only three couples and one is just newly married so they're still cool. However there isn't really anything for young single's like myself though which sucks sorta. My only other way to meet people is college. There is a single's group but it's older singles though.

hey all,

well my church is small i suppose (about 75 regularly/150 if we have an event) and that makes it a bit easier to mingle when you're new (plus we're just ridiculously sociable people). I definitely think you should try and branch out to meet new people in your ministry, it's a wonderful feeling to develop relationships with people who worship with you. Try looking at your bulletin board for ministry events or getting in touch with the outreach/welcome commitee. If you find that difficult, then use the opportunity to evangelize and see if you can bring someone to church with you. I don't think that online or television churches are a long term solution for anyone. We're instructed to not forsake the assembly of God's people in His house (absolut paraphrase). Take time out in prayer to ask the Lord to direct you to new people in ministry (that's not super deep, He cares about all of our problems). Just try your best to be comfortable and true to yourself and eventually you will open up to new people.

If anyone is every in new york and want to check out a bunch of people that are just hype for the Lord and working hard to live balanced lives that are pleasing in his site, then I invite you to check out Greater Rehoboth Family Worship Center @ 1193 Dean Street 2nd Floor (corner of Nostrand Ave) Brooklyn, NY 1126. We have service @ 11am and 5pm on Sundays.