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ok, so...
I'm really fed up getting invited to parties where i need to pay for my own benefit. Recently one of my friend invited me to a restaurant for her Birthday. On her invite it says for me to bring money (probably $30) for food wtf
I thought the host should be the one thats paying for the guest not guest paying for themselves.

Well this is not the only time, i had many other experiences. Such as getting invited to go to cinemas which i need to pay for my ticket and popcorn and shizz.
Honestly I would just decline the invite

It maybe not such a big deal for some but to me it is

So what do you guys think. Would you go to a birthday /party where you need to pay for yourself?

Well, I guess sometimes it's just hard on the host to pay for everybody =/

Usually, for our gang, we pay for atleast one thing, either the "event" or dinner. So the host pays one and the guests pay the other
I recently had a joint birthday party with my friend. We paid for bowling and the guests paid for themselves for dinner.
Just the bowling cost us around 80 dollars. So with dinner O_O; that would be bleh.
Because of this, each person usually pitches in 10 dollars or so to pay for the birthday person's gift.

To us, the gift isn't important, just have fun!

And to answer your question, as long as it's decent I'll probably go; but the host has to pay for atleast SOMETHING right? x.x

Edit: For my bday party, both me and my friend each spent 70+ dollars. So the whole thing cost us 140 dollars o_O

my friend was having her 18th birthday party at this nice restaurant, and she invited a bunch of friends expecting to pay for them all, but she didn't tell them. but since they thought they had to pay a lot of them didn't go, and the ones that did go brought friends, and she was pissed having to pay for all these people she didn't even know and it was like the worst 18th birthday ever. maybe not worst but you could imagine.

=(

oh yeah.. I remember, my friend invited me to this expensive buffet($30)..

I didn't go because We had to pay ourselves and I heard that restaurant wasn't worth it. lol. ehh..=/

really O_O
my friends and I do that all the time.
when the host pays for dinner/has dinner at their house we just get them a bigger present

with some people, they pay for themselves, the present, AND the host's dinner (birthday)

when i was younger... the host/host's parents would pay for the meal/event and everything but now that I'm older and we all have jobs (note, I'm still in high school) we all just pay for dinner ourselves.

i guess it just really depends on the type of people you hang around, and your guys's "traditions"

I really haven't gone to a party where I had to pay. XD Well, most of the parties I went were almost all house parties so yeah, I just buy gift~

But I know, that must suck alot. :[ T_T

Yeah, my friends do that all the time, but like some people have said, it's just because the host can't afford to be paying for everybody at the one time.

BUt yeah, the gift is always a problem, most cases in my group of friend 2-3 of us pitch in money and buy a present together for the person, saves us from being broke in the end lol.

It's rare that I decline an invite to a birthday outing where you have to pay for yourself, I'm always up for a party and to have fun (:

Well between my friends and I, it's usually the bday person who pays for the food and such.
But at my old school, it was the friends who pay for the bday person.

I guess it differs for everybody ._.

hm, o______o ; i'm always getting invited to birthday
parties where i have to pay. that;s just how my whole
group rolls `cept for the ones who have house parties.
but yeah honestly, it'll be a lot of money if the host
pays for everyone at a restaurant.

yeh, some b'day parties i go to, the host makes u pay. i'm usually like WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dunno, its just how i was brought up, host pays for everything.

are you 13 or something? usually once you get past a certain age people stop expecting the host to pay for everything.

i don't think i've been to a bday party where the host pays for everything in 5 years or so.

i guess it depends on your friends, but generally it's just considered the norm to pay for yourself.

i dont get this. is there a rule where the host has to pay for everything? you always have the option to not go you know. i dont get why people get pissed if they're invited to go to a party where they will pay for themselves. of course, i've gone to parties where everything is paid for and have gone to parties where i have to pay for myself. it's not annoying or anything, it's okay. parties are expensive so i understand if we have to pay for ourselves. it's always better if the host lets you know in advance who's paying for what so you can set aside money for that. what's rude is bringing a lot of people along to a party without telling the host and expecting the host to pay for them, too...

I take it as Host usually has to pay for SOMETHING,
I dont expect them to pay everything though.

Agreed. Eventually you just reach a point where the host doesn't pay for everything.

But generally I just go for the atmosphere and to hang with friends. If you don't want to go, then just decline.

okay.. my group has 15 people and we generally eat a lot
even paying for 15 people a meal is like $300 +
when someone says "ill pay for everything for my bday" we all say "noo! we'll go dutch coz it'll cost heaps"
hiring out a function hall is over 1000 as well.. and thats a cheap function hall

making your friend pay for everything is pretty damn expensive.. or maybe you're inconsiderate

Oh gosh, I haven't been to a party like that before. haha
But I can understand if the host doesn't have enough money to pay?

nononoo, i NEVER expect the birthday person to pay, its their BIRTHDAY for gosh sakes!
i mean, if THEY suggested we go to a super expensive restaurant, than of course, everyone pays for themselves, cuz itll be messed up they expected to be treated..
but if someone else besides the birthdayer suggested a restaurant, than i always felt it was proper to pay FOR the birthdayer....

^but i dunno, for me, it was always a bunch of us taking the birthdayer out, not the birthdayer taking us out...

I also think that the host should pay cuz it's her/his party. My friend wanted to have buffet & movies and expected us to pay. She's pretty rich too. But i don't really mind, since i'm also paying for my own food :b

haha most of the birthdays i go to, i have to pay myself as well. i guess it's ok cuz if i had a birthday at a restaurant, i would not be able to afford to pay for everyone o_O but just hopefully it's not a very expensive restaurant.

if i was hosting a party at a restaurant i would pay for it all
if you cant pay for it all why make it there then =.="
anyways it also doesnt matter whether you get presents or not hehe =)

yeah i totally agree with you. Yeah, the host pays for everything when they go to Chuckie Cheese or something but once you do get older, it should become THE OTHER WAY AROUND. OP, you sound extremely immature and bratty.

all my friends and i are working students, so for the host to have pay for all of us is kinda unreasonable. most of the time we go out for dinner + movie/bowling/or some other activity that isn't too expensive. HOWEVER, because everyone is paying for themselves, the birthday person doesn't expect to get a gift from everyone. Usually we just pool our money together to get a group gift. But if its a house party, then its a little bit different. When one of my friends holds a house party, they buy/prepare all the food, so everyone is expected to get a gift for them.

quoted these guys cause its the truth
was going to ask how old you were..

this is no Mcdonalds party anymore , when you're older you're going to eat more

try paying 15 people at a yum-cha , get stuffed , no way you're gunna do it on your own

like many people have said...sometimes the host/hostess can't pay and when you're past that certain age too. unless they tell you otherwised that they're paying for you.

Well... like a few years back we'd have paid for our own parties ourselves... but nowadays everyone's just like... pay for yourself if it's a meal. Unless it's like.. a hall hired out for a disco or something. But if it's a meal, we just all pay ourselves now lol But sometimes I guess the host can't always afford it. I've always paid for my own parties (well my parents LOL) but this year all my friends were like sorry you have to pay yourselves, so since they are... I'm planning to have a meal like theirs too lol =P But... this year all my friends are strapped for cash I guess since it's prom

I agree that once you get older, you're not going to be treated like you're invited to Chuckee Cheese.
You can't expect one person to pay for dozens of people just cause its their birthday.
If you expect to get an all expense paid then you should feel guilty for making the birthdayer paying for everything when they're the ones that should be feeling special not vice versa. And just cause you got invited to go to a movie doesn't mean the person inviting has an obligation to pay for you. Don't be cheap and even complain about buying your own popcorn. geez...

If I was inviting people for my special day, I would like to be the one paying for it all though. Since for me it doesn't feel right inviting my friends out for something special and making them pay for it.

if it's for a party, then i agree with you. if some one planned it FOR them, then they should pay for everything. it's like having a wedding, and telling people to bring 100$ each because that's how much it costs for a person to eat. one of my friends does this, and i dont really like it. if they can't afford to have a party, they shouldn't have one. why invite you to something, take up your valuable time, and tell you to pay for yourself? that really doesn't make sense. if you're speaking about koreans, then it definetly isn't because in korea, if you invite people, it's already understood that you'll be paying for everything.

but if you're in groups just hanging out, then you should pay for your self.

When I was in elementary school and part of middle school - the person who threw the party usually took care of all the expenses (or their parents).

But when I got into high school.. everyone usually pays for the birthday person. It is their birthday - why would they pay for everyone else? We usually don't let the birthday person spend a dime. Drinks, food, entertainment all on us.

I just don't like it when people I'm not that close with invite me to an expensive dinner and expects me to pay for the food and a big present. It's kinda obvious they only invite a lot of people just to get more presents.

And birthdays are only once a year and an important day. I always pay for everything and I just think it's cool when other people do the same. It's not that hard splurging a little for that one occasion and if you are really that broke than be considerate of other people and go to a cheaper place to eat or cook something at home.

Seriously, unless your friends are Paris Hilton rich, I don't think anyone pays for their birthdays after they get into high school.
It's more just hanging out. (We actually treat the birthday person too)
Although it is sad when you aren't that rich and got a lot of good friends. Like a group of 15 of us, it's like 20 for dinner 20 for gift. so 40 X 15 is a mini cooper load of money. That's why I usually pitch it for the gift but don't show up. lol
and I find inviting people to a birthday party, no one really bring gifts except for your closer friends. But I don't mind, I'm happy they took time to spend with me.

Depends on the person, culture, etc.

But when I have a b'day party/dinner, I always pay for everything.

I do this a lot with my friends. It's just a general consensus between all of us, that if we go out to eat or do something, we pay for ourselves or just split up the total costs.

i persnally pay for either dinner or activity because it's curtesy. its true that the host cant pay for everything but its the same for guests..

if you're gonna make others pay, at least pick something reasonable, making me spend $30+ at a fancy place, another $30+ for activity afterwards, and however much i choose tp spend on a present is just a bit too much.

Yeah, I agree. Usually when people invite me to something I expect to pay for myself unless the host says so. For birthday parties usually my group of friends pays for the birthday person/host! So it's not a big deal to me.

i think it's normal for people to pay for themselves when invited to a birthday thing at a restaraunt. it's the person's birthday, i meann come on... they shouldnt have to pay for everyone, and it can get pretty expensive.

if it's at a restaurant, then yeah i pay. i don't think i could pay for everyone if they didn't pay. i gotta pay tonight for a party, lol.

i was kinda iffed when i went to one of those.. especially cos she didn't warn us beforehand.
i reckon if you're going to host a party, at least pay for something.

Sometimes when im invited to a party and they ask me to pay for like everything I get kind of ticked off?
Like they'll ask me to pay for my own food and presents, while they dont pay for anything --';
But I guess it is kind of hard for the host to pay for everything.

Sometimes it'll be hard for the host to pay for everything so I guess the ones who are invited will have to pay :\ . I went to a friend's birthday this one time; her birthday wishlist was everything expensive that she's been wanting and she host her party at a real high class resteraunt and wants everyone to dress the style she wants them too. It was a huge deal but I went anyways and yeah bad turn out. She ignores like half her guest invites so basically it was like eating on a regular night kinda feeling. True, my other friends were pissed but yeah can't be helped.

lmfao~
i thought you are supposed to pay for the birthday parties since it's like treating the birthday girl? O___o

I know what you mean. It's weird, but meh. My friends do that. Mind you, my "best" friends. I still go when they invite me because I'd feel guilty for later on (if I did decide not to go) for skipping out on their birthday celebration. But really, I'm paying to feed myself when I could do that anytime. That's why when it's my birthday, I pay for everyone I invite. No need for presents, just be there to celebrate my birthday and I pay for the food you eat.

if it's too expensive then i don't bother
you want me to go and i have to pay?!

My friends and I do that all the time. We even pay for the birthday girl/guy too!

I don't know, that's our custom. I don't find it weird, you pay your own dish.