i hate having this social and love phobia.. it makes my life so much harder when it doesn't have to be..
as years went by .. my social anxiety increased and i was just hella scared of talking to people..
it's horrible..

it's kinda of funny and sad when i think about it. when i was younger i used to be very outgoing and wanted to be friends with everybody.... but i guess when i stopped playing sports and some of my friends kind of left me my weight fluctuated and my parents started criticizing how overweight i was..

gradually my phobia became soo intense i refused to go outside ( i only went outside to take out the trash) and just started hating people thinking they are all after me or have something against me..

my friends have told me that i've really changed and that the real me is gone.. and that they want the real me back.

so i want to be able to overcome this horrible disease..

is anyone going through this or have overcome this disease?

Honestly, I don't know what to say...I've never heard of anyone in such a situation. ToT

The real you is who you are, and thats not gonna change. When people say you've changed, they only say that cause they don't know you that well.

I hope you find some true friends that'll help you overcome and get the courage to go out and have fun. You have a friend on soompi for sure!

Good luck!

You're still you, you haven't changed at all. What's changed is your friends' perception of you.

So what exactly is stopping you from going out, now that you've realized you've got a problem?

You probably feel scared about people judging you when they meet you and talk to you. Ask yourself what is bothering you about what they might see. If you are uncomfortable about being overweight, then fix it. Eat healthy and exercise. Write down a plan about what you are going to do and then actually go out there and do it. But be patient... weight loss probably need months to years.

Social anxiety is you feeling bad about yourself and fearing that other people can see the flaws that you see in yourself. But they don't see those things. They focus more about your personality and what you have to say.

Your friends probably like you for who you are. So be yourself. Continue pursuing interests and doing things that you normally do with them. Friends don't care what you look like... they don't need you to be absolutely gorgeous or skinny to like you. If they do, then they are not real friends.

Well get out there and have fun. Don't think so much about what people think of you. Your life is yours to live... and you might as well make it a happy one.

ah hm.. don't worry you are not the only one. don't know if this is a good example but you know the anime spirited away? you remember all the many types of gods floating around the castle hotel? yes, that's about how many different type of people there are. and yes you recall not all of them were sociable. yet they were each special in their own way.

i don't think a persons worth is necessarily measured by how sociable they are.

but you also have to make that judgment for yourself. are you happy the way you are? some people are. then, some people change over time and want to make a different contribution. here in soompi you are lucky you can ask all sorts of questions about finding a way forward.

so go ahead, find out what is in your heart, and ask away.

if i was in your situation, i would begin by next asking what brought your phobia arund in the first place. then make a concerted effort to explore in the new direction. don't worry if it is hard at first. just come back here and complain.

I've never gone through this, but I have a friend who is sort of in the same situation. I'm not sure if she ever received flak from anyone but yeah, she's overweight. She used to be a very sociable and outgoing kid until... this year? She thinks whenever people look at her, they're thinking bad things about her appearance. And she doesn't like being around people who she believes are skinnier than her. She rarely leaves the house nowadays. It's off to school and then right back home again. It's very heartbreaking. :\

Your still you inside, the only thing that really changed
is the way of you look at things.. Don't feel bad because you
don't look like you used to because you don't play sports,
but appreciate what you have and I believe that it's definitely
possible to overcome this fear..

i think you are like this because you are overweight which makes your self esteem go down really badly. I had chubby fat when i was younger too. I was ashamed and stuff. Even after I had no chubby fat and stuff, I still have a pretty low self esteem. I guess it's cause i am always lacking self confidence.

Your self esteem kind of determines your outlook on the world, I think.
When I was really, really, really, REALLY self conscious (thought I was overweight, ugly, etc), I refused to go outside because I was afraid of the people who were going to judge me.
I bettered myself, actually took care of my health more, and I began to see myself differently... I'm still not that confident in myself, but I think I'm 'decent,' and that's enough for me to get by.

I think you should try and see yourself in a different light, ne?
Do things that'll improve your confidence in yourself, and once you do that, you can take it to the next step and gradually go out more.

pretty much my self confidence.. .. i just dont know how to gain it..and if i do, i'm scare to pursue it.



pretty much my self confidence.. i think i know the solution to my problem.. it's just i'm so scare to pursue it.
i don't know how to break loose.

^In situations like these, I'm sure you've got at least one close friend that could help you with that, right? And even then, self confidence is something you learn/gain through experience, so you've just gotta be brave and pursue it, alright? Don't go out looking for self confidence, just focus on going out and having fun with your friends, you'll gain self confidence slowly from just that.

The real u, is your natural personality! U jsut got to bring her back! revive her.. she on holiday too long! .. tell her to come back! .. if not, then bring out the new u! the girl who was outgoing, then became anti-social.. now shes became a stronger person! she experienced alot of things in life.. and this is what she learnt! .. if i make sense!

Everyone is capable of being who they want to be.. if they are determined, ambitious, and motivated! Never say u cant! because u can!

I know this guy who used to be really really shy! Hes now an outgoing funny guy! ..