THE HOMER J SIMPSON QUOTES

[Praying heavenward]
Homer: I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!

Homer tries to gain passage on an escape rocket.]
Homer: I am the piano genius from the movie "Shine."
Guard: And your name is...?
Homer: Uhh... Shiney McShine.

[whilst talking to the alien]
Homer: Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

[Homer can't stop the monorail]
Marge: I've brought somebody to help you.
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: It's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?
Marge: It's NOT Batman.

[Ned and Homer are driving in a snowstorm.]
Ned Flanders: Homer, we just hit something!
Homer: Ooooooh, I hope it was Flanders

Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man... [laughs hysterically] So to answer your question, I don't know.

Homer: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

Marge: I think we're going to need a bigger place.
Homer: No, we don't. I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's room and Bart can sleep with us until he's 21.
Marge: Won't that warp him?
Homer: My cousin Frank did it.
Marge: You don't have a cousin Frank.
Homer: He became Francine in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now

Homer: Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening

Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology.
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: Okay, I will!

[Homer is teaching a university course on marriage]
Homer: I do have a story about two other young marrieds. Now, the wife of this couple had an interesting quirk in the bedroom. It seems she goes wild with desire if her husband nibbles on her elbow.
Krabappel: We need names!
Homer: Well, er, let's just call them, uh, "Mr. X" and "Mrs. Y." So anyway, Mr. X would say, "Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson!"
Homer: Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?

Homer: (Offering Lisa a donut.) Donut?
Lisa: Uhh... got any fruit?
Homer: This one has purple in it. Purple's a fruit.

Homer (Upon finding out he's been admitted to college): (Singing) I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!

Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Homer: If something goes wrong, blame the guy who can't speak English.

Homer (praying): Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever... thy will be done (munch munch munch).

Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

Homer: From now on, there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Homer Simpson way.
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!

Lisa: Dad, don't you think you're overreacting?
Homer: Don't you think you're *under*reacting?
Lisa: This conversation is over.
Homer: This conversation is *under*.
Lisa: Goodbye.
Homer: *bad*bye

Homer: Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

lolz..... i remember some of these quote....^^

HAHA I remember most of those, hahaha soo funny. I miss the simpsons, haven't been watching it for a while =P

homer foreverrrrrrrrrrr
the man is a legend

hahahaha.. i love the simpsons!

i remember some of the quotes. homer is funny. i love the simpsons alot!

lmao i love homer!! such a cutie

MAN IMISS THE SIMPSONS..
heard they were guna come out with a simpsons movie
in july 2007 and then thats it..no more simpsons....
can't wait...
XD

LMAO.....
Homer is funnnnnnnny!!!!

I like family guy better, It's an advancement in stupid from simpsons. I think i lowered my IQ from watching this.

lol homer is great.. but its a bit sad how they only ever show repeats nowadays

lol
i remember sum of those quote
i luv the simpson

the first quote, was the BEST!!

"Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!" =D LOL! love that one.

hahha these two quotes are hilarious

Oh man, the list of quotes can go on forever ! Goodness, I.LOVE.THE.SIMPSON <3

Too bad the newer episodes SUCKS LIKE HECK. Re-runs && marathons are the best

i love hooooooommmerrr!!!! hes so funnnnnnnnnnnnyyy

LOL! i remember most of these quotes.

Hahaha. I really like Homer. He's reallt funny

hahahha. homer is a legend. lawl.

haha.. i idolise homer for his stupidity!

Heh, Homer Jay Simpson is a classic.

simpsons is the best... what can i say.

Hilarious! Homer comes up with the funniest things!

i got a quote

kids, you've tried and failed miserably. the lesson is, never try

hahaha

ahaha

homer rocks!!

our dear homer how he makes us laugh

Ohohoho. I remember these episodes <33 Hahaha I still laugh at them

hahahahahaaha~ number for 911.. hahahaha... dummbb... Homer always make me laugh... his stupid acts and quotes.. never ever forget that 'man'...

hahaha i like the one about ned flanders. i just love the simpsons

CLASSIC!!!!!! He IS a legend. Hahaha. It can go on and on and on. I never get tired of watching The Simpsons.

haha those are hilarious!! homer's the best

Haha this is my favorite quote from homer. He's soo funny. I watched all the Simpsons episodes.

i can never get sick of simpson quotes.

Homer is so lovable , aww

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH~ Mother Shabubu... That name alone makes me laugh...

homer cracks me up! i love that man

lol. long live homer simposn.lol i love him, whadt a legend

Ahh man, I havn't watched simpsons in a long while.... these brought back gooood memories.

HAHA..thats good stuff man. The Simpsons are the bomb!

LMAO xD awww homer !! i love him

i remember almost all of them
too bad i stopped caring about the simpsons altogether

Homer owns The Simpsons, without him and Bart, it would be lame.

I actually remember some of these quotes! I love the Simpsons!!!

QUOTE

Lisa: Dad, don't you think you're overreacting?
Homer: Don't you think you're *under*reacting?
Lisa: This conversation is over.
Homer: This conversation is *under*.
Lisa: Goodbye.
Homer: *bad*bye

Hahahaha! This one is just out of hand. xD FUNNY!

The one with Mr. X and Mrs. Y is halrious! He tell them the names anyways. xD

lol homer's the dumbest guy on tv

Too bad simpsons isn't as funny as it used to be

lol funny but some stuff is just stupid

I agree, Simpsons is just not funny anymore and even if it is funny, it's only funny because we already know the characters and think that it's suppose to be funny whereas if it was the first time we watched Simpsons, we won't think it's funny.

those quotes are hilarious, thanks for sharing.

I sometimes want to hit homer for his stupidity..
But still you gotta love him! He's such a idiot! Hahahaha

homer is the master of all masters
>:D

HAHA!